Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Come see our sink grown plant.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
