I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
