I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
