How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize