He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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