She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
