Small penises have feelings too.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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