Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
