the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
