My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
