She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
