i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize