he wants to bone in the snuggie
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
