Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
