Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks