Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.