he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015