he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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