Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...

(623): View more from Arizona

What did she do!?

(602): View more from Arizona

I didn't tell her...

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(602): So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her... (623): What did she do!? (602): I didn't tell her... http://tfl.nu/i351

Replies (218) Good night (5469) Bad night (24848)
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(248): View more from Michigan

apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.

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(248): apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave. http://tfl.nu/lqnh

Replies (4) Good night (3069) Bad night (1064)
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(954): View more from Florida

my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him

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(954): my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him http://tfl.nu/k9ng

Replies (28) Good night (4947) Bad night (1032)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her

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(704): Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her http://tfl.nu/j5w3

Replies (59) Good night (831) Bad night (3471)
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(650): View more from California

I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.

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(650): I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening. http://tfl.nu/kog8

Replies (18) Good night (6044) Bad night (720)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.

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(606): I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel. http://tfl.nu/sip1

Replies (41) Good night (4104) Bad night (1335)
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(903): View more from Texas

Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.

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(903): Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning. http://tfl.nu/i0lg

Replies (6) Good night (3169) Bad night (1144)
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(760): View more from California

She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.

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(760): She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid. http://tfl.nu/c9kh

Replies (3) Good night (635) Bad night (1452)
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(907): View more from Alaska

i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.

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(907): i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet. http://tfl.nu/l2j7

Replies (5) Good night (1712) Bad night (612)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.

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(832): Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test. http://tfl.nu/gs8m

Replies (3) Good night (666) Bad night (1509)
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(631): View more from New York

His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets

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(631): His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets http://tfl.nu/4eyt

Replies (13) Good night (547) Bad night (2045)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE

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(204): I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE http://tfl.nu/94j1

Replies (6) Good night (395) Bad night (478)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.

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(678): Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature. http://tfl.nu/4fv9

Replies (2) Good night (584) Bad night (334)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances

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(610): I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances http://tfl.nu/sqi3

Replies (2) Good night (387) Bad night (275)
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(850): View more from Florida

Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices

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(850): Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices http://tfl.nu/ay6e

Replies (0) Good night (577) Bad night (259)

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