as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
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He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
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found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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