He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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