fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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