I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
