How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
