the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
