Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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