I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
