I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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