Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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