i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
