What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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