Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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