i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
