Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
