walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
