I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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