Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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