I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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