yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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