Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
