They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
