Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
