There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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