Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It's never too late to be topless.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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