Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize
