Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
