I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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