I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
What drink are we having for lunch?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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