Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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