the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
someone owes me an orgasm
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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