Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
