so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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