we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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