i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Someone came in the potted fern
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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