im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
