Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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