He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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