Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
