I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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