He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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