So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
