i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
