It's Friday. Sex?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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