Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
