You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Randomize
