He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
