I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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