you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
