just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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