I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
