I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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