i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
